WWE RAW Results – 7/16/12
We are live from Las Vegas, Nevada and your announcers are Michael ‘I have Trip Nines’ Cole and Jerry ‘Is this my week to beat up Heath Slater’ Lawler.
We begin with the man who will eventually face John Cena for the WWE Title and the man who was able to defeat Daniel Bryan at Money in the Bank. CM Punk makes his way to the ring.
Punk says that this might sound a little bit strange from someone who is straight edge, but he loves Las Vegas. Punk says that he has a lot of great memories. It was a year ago that he sat on this stage and dropped a pipe bomb that resonated throughout the world. It started a revolution. He said that he was the best and he has proven that he is the best in the world.
He beat everyone who stepped in front of him, even Daniel Bryan last night. There was a very very very very very very confused guest referee who didn’t know if she was with him or against him. Punk says that he cannot believe that it happened a year ago in this city.
Next week will be the 1000th episode of Raw and he says that he thinks about the first episode of Raw because a guy who looks, talks, and acts like him would never have been on that first show. Let alone standing in the ring in the midst of his eighth month as WWE Champion.
Punk says that he plans to stand in the ring and holding up the WWE Title belt as the champion.
Big Show’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring. Show applauds Punk as he goes down the ramp.
Show says that was a really touching story. The voice of the voiceless returns to the scene of the crime as the conquering hero. Show says that he was inches away from winning the Money in the Bank match.
Show tells the crowd that is chanting that he sucks is being rude. Show continues and says that the briefcase was in his grasp but John Cena was in the right place at the right time when the handle broke. Show says that if he had the contract he would cash it in right now.
Punk wouldn’t be walking out of here as the WWE Champion . . . he wouldn’t be walking.
Punk interrupts and he says that Show talks about almost winning last night, but Show did what he always did. He beat the crap out of everyone and left destruction in his wake only to lose. Show has everything it takes to be champion. Maybe Show should be Mr. Money in the Bank because he has the power and the size, but Show lost.
Punk says that he has the respect of the people and the title while Show has a big contract and the respect of no one.
Show says that the people do not respect Punk and they don’t even respect themselves. If Punk left the WWE tomorrow, Show gives them a week to move on to the next new thing. Show says that he doesn’t care if the people respect him or not. Show says that this company revolves around one man. Punk isn’t special, he is just another cog in the machine.
Punk says that he is the WWE Champion and Show is not. Show is a bitter, underachieving, albeit well paid, shell of a man who happens to be a giant.
Show tells Punk that is his opinion. As it relates to Punk’s WWE Championship, John Cena is Mr. Money in the Bank. Show says that after he knocks Punk out and loses the match, Punk could very well lose the Championship to John Cena. Show drops his mic and walks away.
Kofi Kingston, R Truth, and the figment of Truth’s imagination walk in the back as we go to commercial.
We are back with the usual Raw in Las Vegas music.
We have a poll to find out which secondary title you want to see defended next week on Raw 1000, the United States, Intercontinental, or Divas Title.
Match Number One: Kofi Kingston and R Truth versus Titus O’Neil and Darren Young with Abraham Washington for the WWE Tag Titles
Titus barks before locking up with Kofi and he connects with elbows in the corner followed by a European uppercut. Young tags in and he kicks Kofi. Young sends Kofi into the turnbuckles and then he argues with the referee. Kofi with a kick and punches followed by a drop kick. Truth tags in and they hit a double elbow drop. Kofi with a back heel kick followed by a split and the spinning leg drop.
Truth tags Kofi back in and Kofi with a springboard cross body for a near fall. Kofi with a drop kick to Titus when he tries to interfere. Truth and Kofi with stereo baseball slides. Abe checks on his men but Kofi with a flip dive onto Titus and Darren as we go to commercial.
We are back and Darren with a waist lock on Kofi. Kofi knocks Titus off the apron and then he tries to make the tag but Young catches him. Kofi tries for a sunset flip but Titus tags in and he kicks Kofi. We see footage from the commercial break when Kofi got knocked off the apron. Titus with a bear hug on Kofi.
Kofi with head butts to get out of the hold but he goes to the wrong corner. Titus with shots to the lower back to continue to wear Kofi down. Young tags back in and he puts Kofi over the apron so Abe can fix Darren’s fro. Young with forearms and then he tags in Titus.
Truth tags in and he hits a drop kick to the knee followed by a punch and leg lariat and DDT. Truth gets a near fall but Young interferes. Truth clotheslines Young over the top rope. Abe distracts the referee and that allows Kofi to hit Trouble in Paradise on the apron and then Truth hits the Little Jimmy for the three count.
Winners: Kofi Kingston and R Truth
After the match, Abe argues with the referee and he sounds like he could be doing commentary on Fridays.
AJ Lee is in the back and Daniel Bryan stops by. AJ says that she is sorry if Daniel doesn’t like what happened last night. Daniel says that he is sorry for what he said since Wrestlemania. Daniel says that he got so caught up in trying to beat Punk that he made her the scapegoat. Daniel says that he can finally tell her . . .
Eve stops by and Daniel says that they are in the middle of things. Eve says that she protested to get another tag match. She picks her partner to face Daniel and AJ.
AJ wants to know what Daniel wanted to say. He says that he will tell her after they win their match tonight. Bryan kisses AJ on the cheek and leaves.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time to see the first Tout video that John Cena sent out about his favorite Raw moment.
Match Number Two: Zack Ryder versus Alberto Del Rio with Ricardo Rodriguez
Del Rio with a kick and punches to Ryder. Del Rio with kicks to the midsection but he runs into an elbow from Ryder. Ryder with a boot and punches. Del Rio with a divorce court and then he kicks Ryder in the shoulder and uses the ropes for extra leverage. Del Rio with a boot to the shoulder on the floor. Del Rio sends Ryder into the ringside barrier.
Ryder runs Del Rio into the apron and then he kicks Del Rio. Del Rio sends Ryder shoulder first into the ring post and then he applies the cross arm breaker and Ryder taps out.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
After the match, Del Rio applies the cross arm breaker again but Rey Mysterio’s music plays and he is back.
Rey comes to the ring and Del Rio kicks and punches Rey. Del Rio lets up and Rey with a forearm and kicks. Rey with a rana that sends Alberto into the ropes because it is Rey and Alberto is stuck to the ropes so he cannot escape before Rey hits the 619.
It is time to take a look at Heath Slater’s favorite Monday Night Moment. He talks about facing Vader, being in the ring with Cyndi Lauper, wrestling with Sid and Doink, learning about the Diamond Cutter from DDP, and having wings with Bob Backlund.
We see the door of the Raw legend and the person who has the honor of defeating Heath Slater.
We go to commercial.
Heath Slater is in the ring as we await the blast from the past to ruin his Monday night. Heath wonders who will it be this week. He knows a Raw legend is about to come out.
Match Number Three: Rikishi versus Heath Slater
Slater with a slap to the back of the head and he gloats. Rikishi with a savate kick and it is stinkface time. Rikishi with the Samoan spike and then it is time for the Bonzai Drop and the three count.
After the match, Rikishi’s dance party is joined by his sons Jimmy and Jey Uso.
We go to commercial.
We are back and we see why we are getting another mixed tag match.
Eve introduces her tag team partner and he is Awesome.
Match Number Four: Eve Torres and Miz versus Daniel Bryan and AJ Lee
The men start things off and they lock up with Bryan applying a side head lock. Miz backs Bryan into the corner and he misses a punch. Bryan with kicks of Yes in the corner. Miz with a knee to the midsection followed by a boot to the head.
AJ tags in and that means it is time to see Eve in action. They lock up and Eve sends AJ to the corner and Eve with kicks. Eve with a snap mare and a kick to the upper chest for a near fall. Eve chokes AJ in the ropes and then Eve picks up AJ for a reverse chin lock while sitting on the top turnbuckle.
AJ with a forearm and kick followed by a spinning heel kick and kick to the leg. AJ with a Shining Wizard but Miz distracts the referee and he misses the count. AJ drop kicks Miz off the apron. AJ smiles at Miz and Miz likes it.
Eve with an inside cradle but Bryan pushes AJ over when the referee deals with Miz and AJ gets the three count.
Winners: Daniel Bryan and AJ Lee
After the match, Daniel gets on the mic and he tells AJ that there is something that she used to tell him. It was something that he was always too scared and too stupid to say back. He says that his career and state of mind as well as his entire life won’t be right until he says this.
Daniel tells AJ he loves her.
AJ thinks about what Daniel just said while Daniel says that last week he asked her a question because he wanted to become the WWE Champion. This week, he doesn’t want anything except this . . . Daniel gets on his knee and he asks AJ to marry him.
Daniel puts it on her finger and AJ doesn’t know what to say. AJ says yes. Daniel and AJ kiss. Daniel and AJ do stereo Yeses.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a Raw 1000 Memorable Moment: The night that the Rock stole the Smoking Skull belt and threw Austin and the belt into the river.
We are reminded that the DX Reunion will open Raw next week. That will be the opening act for the wedding of Daniel Bryan and AJ Lee.
Match Number Five: Jack Swagger versus Ryback
Swagger with kicks and punches to Ryback followed by a Doctor Bomb and then Swagger with the double jump Swagger Bomb. Swagger applies the ankle lock on Ryback but Ryback kicks out of the hold. Swagger with a shoulder tackle to Ryback. Ryback kicks Swagger away on another ankle lock attempt and then Ryback with a lariat and then he hits a spinebuster and then he picks up Swagger for a few powerbombs. Ryback kicks Swagger out of the ring.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time to talk about John Cena’s Tout announcement about the briefcase and how it will be made tonight on Raw.
Jerry and Michael wonder what the big announcement is.
Before we get the WWE Title Money in the Bank winner, it is time for Vickie Guerrero to introduce the man who won the World Title Money in the Bank briefcase.
Dolph comes to the ring with Vickie and he has something to say. Dolph reminds everyone that the briefcase has always been cashed in successfully. Dolph says that we are looking at the next World Champion. He says that it is a matter of time when he cashes in on Sheamus. At that time, he will become the greatest World Champion in history.
He will be better than Bret Hart, Steve Austin, The Rock. He will be the greatest.
Chris Jericho interrupts and he makes his way to the ring.
Ziggler cuts of Jericho and he tells Chris that tonight is not about him. Chris will not steal his spotlight or moment. Ziggler reminds Chris that he won his Money in the Bank match while Chris lost. Dolph asks Chris when did he last win something.
Dolph says that all he has heard since Chris came back is how great he is and how he is going to save us, how he is the best in the world at what he does, and how he will save us from the end of the world. What Chris does is lose. No one has been given more opportunities and main event matches than Chris Jericho. Chris has been coasting so long that he has everyone fooled. He says that Jericho is all hype.
He asks Chris when was the last time that he won an important match. He says that Chris cannot remember. Is it possible that Chris is losing his touch and that he can’t win the big one any more? The great Chris Jericho? Is Chris losing his touch. He says that he thinks Chris is losing his touch.
Jericho with a Codebreaker and Ziggler is out.
Jericho walks out of the ring without saying anything.
We go to commercial.
We are back with some of the Tout videos of fan’s favorite Raw moments.
We have a wedding next week and also Degeneration X gets to be the opening act for the greatest nuptials in WWE history. Rock and Brock Lesnar will also be in the wedding party.
Next week, the Intercontinental Title will be defended on Raw.
Match Number Five: Brodus Clay with Funkettes versus JTG
They lock up and Clay sends JTG to the mat and he shimmies. Clay with a shoulder tackle followed by a punch to the midsection. Clay with a million dollar knee lift followed by a suplex and elbow drop. Clay with an Irish whip but JTG gets his boot up and then he goes for the leg and clips Clay.
JTG with boots to the leg and then he works on the back with forearms. JTG with kicks to the head and he mocks Clay. Clay with punches but JTG with forearms and a front face lock. Clay gets to his feet and JTG kicks the knee and hits a drop kick. Clay catches JTG and hits the sheeeplex and the head butt to the chest.
Clay with a splash for the three count.
Winner: Brodus Clay
After the match, the children of Las Vegas get to dance with Brodus and the Funkettes.
We see Donald Trump’s favorite Raw moment and it was the night that Vince revealed his new hairdo after Wrestlemania 23.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Six: CM Punk versus Big Show
Punk avoids Show and he gets in a few kicks but they don’t really impact Show. Show backs Punk into the corner but Punk escapes with a shot to the shoulder from Show. Punk with kicks and foreams but Show with a head butt. Show with a chop in the corner. Punk with punches to Show but Show with a shoulder tackle. Show stands on Punk’s back. Show goes to the floor and he puts Punk over the apron and he connects with a chop.
Punk punches Show but Show with a head butt and Show breaks the referee’s count. Show wants to run Punk’s shoulder into the ring post but Punk sends Show into the post. They return to the ring and Punk with kicks. Show stops Punk with a head butt.
Show with a punch to the midsection and then he chokes Punk with his boot. Show with an Irish whip but he runs into a boot from Punk. Punk comes off the turnbuckles but Show catches Punk and then he slams Punk. Show punches Punk in the ribs. Show with a punch to the ribs. Punk with a chop and forearms and then he climbs Mount Show and applies a sleeper.
Show counters with a side slam. Show climbs the turnbuckles for an elbow drop but Punk moves. Punk with a kick to the chest followed by a clothesline or two. Show stays on his feet and Punk with more clotheslines and a kick. Show with a back body drop. Show signals for the punch but Punk avoids it. Punk with a round kick to the shoulder followed by an enzuigiri and a drop kick that sends Show into the corner.
Punk with a running knee in the corner and he hits a second one. Punk goes for a third one and he connects. Punk sets for the bulldog but Show pushes him out of the way. Show misses a splash into the corner and Punk goes up top for the elbow drop and he hits it and gets a near fall.
Punk is sent to the apron the kick out by Show and Punk sets for the springboard clothesline. Show catches Punk and hits the chokeslam but Punk gets his foot on the rope. Show sends Punk into the corner and Show punches Punk in the ribs and then he sends the referee to the mat and the referee calls for the bell while Show continues to kick Punk.
Winner: CM Punk by disqualification
Show with a slam after the match and Show wants to knock out Punk. John Cena comes to the ring with the briefcase and Show leaves the ring.
Cena gets on the mic and he says that he was going to make a huge announcement for tonight’s Raw about the briefcase. John says that he is going to . . .
Big Show says that we know his announcement. Show says that Cena is going to cash in the briefcase now. Show wants to know if Cena is going to do it because it has been so long that he has been the champion. Show reminds Cena that this is the belt that he helped to design so he would be a fool not to cash in.
Show says that Cena will never have an easier championship victory than now.
John Cena tells CM Punk that he has one week to prepare for the biggest match of his life. Punk has been champion for 239 days so next week when both men are fresh, we will see who is the best in the world. Cena will cash in next week for his WWE Title Match.
Show tells Cena to cash in.
Cena says that his huge announcement for tonight regarding the briefcase is . . .
Cena knocks Show off the apron with the briefcase.
We go to credits.